Dearest Hudson Lulu Sky Cherry,
You’re 15 years old! Can you imagine I remember everything in windows of first and last times? I remember all of your first times; The first time you kicked inside of me was so hard I thought there must be two in there! Your first smile (gas), your first word (cookie) and then (momma) and then (cookie again), first steps ( you took Grandma Cherry’s hand and walked her to your new pink bedroom), first tantrum ( no cookie), first day of school (Ransom Daycare), even your first crush at age two ( Ernie from Sesame Street!). All of these firsts are etched into my soul, but the last times are the ones etched into my heart. The last time you wanted a bottle, the last time you crawled, the last time you needed a diaper, the last time you called me Momma, the last time you wanted to hold my hand (age 12), The last time I saw you on a swing ( age 10)…
I can’t write this without sobbing.
With so many firsts to come, I know that the last times will follow, too. It’s the bittersweetness of life. The firsts and the lasts.
Having you was my first time loving someone so deeply that my heart hurt and the last time my life felt meaningless and incomplete. Thank you for being my daughter— the custodian of my heart.